#15

gnarly :)

well, i have to admit that i get freaked out sometimes by the thought of being "alone" on litterally the other side of the earth, only 19 years old with hundreds and thousands of kilometers between me and my family and friends. it's not that i doubt it will be amazing and an experience for life, it's just i'm this do-first-think-after kind of person. and i know there's nothing wrong about that. that's what got me to australia in the first place. me discovering hillsong actually ran a college and just applying because i knew this was it; god's plan for my life. not just a part but the "the real deal of god's greater plan" (ciwi <7). i know all this so well, i'm so convinced that this is what i'm supposed to do. and i'm not worried about school. it's just what if i say and do something really dorky, lets say my first day there. it would totally fit with a description of me. i'm not easily embarrassed, but the thought of the likeliness of that kinda scares me. i feel all 6-years-old again, living at a new place, not knowing anyone. and the thought that comes to mind first day of school: "what if no one likes me". i'm aware of the childishness and the unlike me weariness in all this. but it's just a mess of thoughts. sorry.

so i'd better go to bed, memorize philippians 4:6-7 and tell all of you guys "g'night mate!"